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老师们都是最牛段子手,这些祖传台词你们一定都见过哈哈哈哈哈哈

来源:21英语网
日期:2019-09-10

今天是一年一度的教师节~

 

提起自家老师,你会想起教室窗外的那道如影随形的深切目光?

 

还是上课时的种种经典语录?

 

数学老师仿佛永远都只爱这么一款衣服……

 

而英语老师的衣服,常常是一个礼拜不带重样的~

 

但不论是哪科老师,在大家的印象中,ta都无疑是最懂你的人,因为你的任何小动作,似乎都逃不过他们的眼睛……

 

而你也一定被老师的这些祖传段子套路过……

 

@人民日报官方微博还整理了那些年,老师说过的种种经典语录↓↓↓

 

Teaching is a tough job, and we should give teachers the credit they deserve. Do you know what it's like to have a horde of hormone raging, rebellious teens sitting in front of you? Do you know what it's like to hold their attention? Neither do we. 

 

All of these teenagers tried to wriggle their way out of trouble, but nothing stopped these scholars from having a go at them while staying as polite and ingenious as ever. These funny teacher quotes might surprise you in the best way possible.

 

So let's give it up for these brave teachers, who have tamed and educated hundreds of brassy kids, while still managing to keep their sense of humor (and sanity) intact.

 

而楼上的这些段子和套路,其实不少歪果仁老师也会用呢~

 

比如:抓上课睡觉↓↓↓

 

防作弊↓↓↓

 

“我刚讲完这道题还不到1分钟!”

 

“讲啊讲啊,你们的课间没了”

 

“你们的代课老师没来,那这堂课就我来给你们上吧”

 

而在老师与学生斗智斗勇的日常中,其实也有着诸多不易↓↓↓

 

“谁说当老师压力山大?”

“我39岁了,感觉很好!”

 

与学生上课的日常:

 

“为40个孩子备课是种什么样的体验”

“考虑到不同的学习能力/风格/需求/家庭/文化背景/,同时还要让他们通过几个标准化考试,这决定着我在学校作为老师的价值。”

 

“想象中我作为老师的样子”

“真的成为老师后的感受”

 

面对学生们稀奇古怪问题的日常:

 

“学生:为什么您每天都要喝咖啡呢?您不喝咖啡就会活不下去吗?”

“我:我不会……但你们可能会”

 

“老师:有人有问题吗?”

“学生:没有”

“老师:好吧,那么大家开始吧”

“1分钟之后的学生们……”

 

批改学生作业和试卷的日常:

 

“搬家吗?”

“不是的……只是一位老师把一些试卷带回家批改而已”

 

“批改试卷98%的时间里,我的表情都是这样的↑↑↑”

 

“老师们职业生涯的另一种选择”

“FBI笔迹鉴定师”

 

应对班级大小事务的日常:

 

“试着换座位又不会让情况变得更糟糕的老师们”

 

“当一个学生带病上学”

 

“今天没人吐了或者哭了”

“今天是美好的一天”

 

“家长们:他在家从来不会做这种事!”

“我:”

 

当然,老师们其实也有不少可爱的内心戏(笑)~

 

“老师们想到家长要和熊孩子们待一整个暑假“

 

“3个捣蛋鬼今天都没来上课唉!”

 

“全班人马上都听懂了课堂任务”

 

“当我的学生讲了一件很搞笑的事,但因为我是老师不得不强装淡定时的表情”

 

“我会把前10题的答案都弄成C”

“吓死他们哈哈哈哈”

 

而师生之间的暖心小故事,更是动人。

 

@央视新闻官方微博最近就整理出了一些网友投稿的师生情故事:

 

歪果仁网友也分享了不少暖心故事呢~

 

"A university student brought her baby to class because she couldn’t afford to leave him with a nanny. When he started crying, her professor scooped him up in his arms and calmed him down, all the time without breaking off his lecture."

“一位大学生因为没钱请保姆,只能带着孩子上课。当宝宝哭起来的时候,她的教授将他抱在怀里,让他安静了下来,教授没有暂停讲课,一直都抱着他。”

 

"Teacher changes hairstyle to support bullied little girl"

“老师换了个发型来支持这个受到霸凌的小女孩”

 

"Teacher promises if whole class get's an A on test, he'll wear a Scooby Doo costume and bring a kid's champagne. Class did their best, he came as promised."

“老师答应了全班同学,如果大家考试都拿了A,他就会穿上史酷比的衣服,带一瓶儿童版香槟来。全班人努力做到了,而他也兑现了承诺。”

 

"After this teacher complimented a student on his shoes, the whole class chipped in to get him the same pair for Christmas"

“这位老师夸了一位同学的鞋很好看,后来全班凑钱给他买了双一模一样的鞋子做圣诞礼物。”

 

在电影《皇家俱乐部》(The Emperor's Club) 有这样一句经典台词:

 

A great teacher has little external history to record. His life goes over into other lives.

 

一名真正伟大的教师没有什么可供名垂青史的。他的生命都用来影响他人的人生轨迹了。

 

那么,你和老师又有着什么样或暖心感人或欢乐搞笑的小故事呢?
 

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