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新技能get√:好到爆的人缘是怎样炼成的?

来源:21英语网
日期:2014-07-07

谁不想人见人爱,花见花开,人缘好到爆?可是,好人缘是怎样炼成的,你造吗?如果你既没有一张天生卖萌的脸,也没有能讨小伙伴嗨皮的个性,那该肿么办呢?美国畅销书作家Peter Economy来给大家支招啦!想要好人缘?下面这几点,你做到了吗?

1. 客观评价可以,主观评判不行。
Don't judge


没人喜欢被人评头论足,但是在工作或生活中常常需要对别人的行为进行评价。人缘好的人,即便是作为上司来评价下属,他们也会基于相关的工作数据和成果做出丁是丁卯是卯的理性评判,而不会讽刺挖苦下属的个性问题。

No one likes being judged, but it can often be difficult to avoid judging the actions of the people we work with or who work for us. Well-liked people, if they are managers or supervisors, they make rational decisions about people based on data and results, not emotional reactions to personalities. In addition, they have accepted the fact that they can't, and shouldn't, try to control or to change the lives or opinions of others.

马上学:judge 常见的意思是“判断”,这里指的是“对别人进行道德或个性方面的评判”,形容词是judgmental。

2. 适度分享私事
Get personal


人缘好的人明白,适度分享一下自己的私事能够接地气,拉近与周围人的距离。比如,跟人聊一聊生活中出现的问题,烦恼或者好事,但不要吹牛皮或者美化加工。

Well-liked people have mastered the delicate dance of getting personal without getting too personal, especially in a work environment. They break down walls by getting real--telling you about their issues and problems but without dwelling on them. They also tell you about the good things happening in their lives, without bragging or trying to "look good." Their genuine willingness to be vulnerable and to take things to a personal level naturally attracts people to them.

马上学:dwell on 指“详细讲述、老是想着某事”。如:It’s no good dwelling on your misfortunes. 老想着你那些不幸也没有什么用处。

3. 让别人谈谈自己
Ask people about themselves


在交谈中,不要总是自己侃侃而谈,也要给别人说话、谈谈自己的机会。否则,别人会认为你更关心自己,而不是想了解其他人。

Rather than spending an entire conversation talking about themselves, well-liked people instead put the focus on the people they're with. If you don't bother to ask questions about the person you're with, or give the person a chance to talk about him- or herself, you'll put the person off by clearly demonstrating that you care more about making yourself look good than actually getting to know the other person. Well-liked people know that people enjoy talking about themselves, and they ask questions to prompt them to do just that--building stronger relationships and their own likeability.

马上学:put sb off 意为“使失去兴趣、反感”,如:His personal habits put them off. 他们很讨厌他的一些个人习惯。

4. 学会倾听
Listen


真正去倾听别人,让别人感到自己很重要,而不是敷衍了事。别人在跟你说话时,你却低头看手机或者电脑屏幕,这不是真正的倾听。

There's no point in asking questions if you aren’t going to listen. Active listening--where you respond to what people are saying with timely verbal and nonverbal prompts, conversation reinforcements, and questions--is a skill that well-liked people have mastered. And they make a point of not looking at their smartphones or computer screens while they're talking to someone else. This makes the other person feel important, which builds your likeability.

马上学:prompt 本来指“给演员的提白、提示”,这里指在某人停止说话、冷场时,通过和他互动,让其继续说下去。

5. 记住别人重要的事
Remember


如果你记得别人的生日、婚礼纪念日等特别的日子,而且让别人知道你记得这些事,那么你很容易就能获得好感,收获人气。

Think about a time when your boss remembered something important in your life--a child’s graduation, or your upcoming birthday or wedding anniversary. Likeable people remember things about those they work with, and they make sure they let those people know that they remember. Listening and remembering shows that you value your conversations and time spent with other people, which in turn leads them to value their time spent with you.

6. 不要太无趣
Don't take yourself too seriously


时不时的,你可以开开玩笑,幽人一默,让人感觉到,在你身边很嗨皮。谁不想和一个能让人开怀大笑的人共事呢?

At appropriate times, likeable people joke, laugh, and are just plain fun to be around. Who doesn't want to be around someone who can share a good laugh? They have unorthodox business meetings, and they like to surprise the people they work with. You'll meet at the office one day and at the baseball field the next. These people know the importance of lighthearted fun on the job, and they try to incorporate it into their daily life, at work and at home.

7. 要热情好客
Be hospitable


热情好客很重要。偶尔请别人去自己的办公室看看,或者约别人在家里吃顿饭,喝杯咖啡,你的人缘指数绝对爆表。

Likeable people know the meaning of hospitality, and they aren't afraid to invite you into their office or even their home for a meal, a meeting, or a cup of coffee. Opening up your office to someone is an act that never goes unnoticed, and opening up your home to someone is like opening your heart to that person.

尝试一下这些小窍门吧,不久你就会惊讶地发现,周围小伙伴们对你的态度的转变是如此之快!
 

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